An analysis on the searching for felicity

Let's continue our discussion about happiness with another perspective. The new way to search bliss in our society.

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Understanding peers to build up good relationships

Why are relationships so tough? Why can we not understand our peers? Why do we have difficulty to find out what they are thinking or what motivates them? Our bigger problem is that we can not change people at their core, and we know less about our fellows than we think. When you are trying to have a fruitful relationship with people within your company, school, church, home, or everywhere, remember that it is necessary the development of two components: firstly, you need to develop the ability to read people, and secondly, you need a general understanding of the overall patters of human behavior.

When we are considering other people, we must take care about our considerations. We need to understand that our form to think the world and the happenings around it can be different. Moreover, we have the tendency to suppose our truth on the things being truly veracity. Each person has its own truth. We are not the owner of the truth. Therefore, we should learn about the others. It is necessary pay attention to the minimal details like their tone of voice, the look in their eye, their body language, all signals, and mainly it is necessary put other peers inside a context. They have a singular family, a specific education, a particular mindset, a unique way to live with emotions, a explicit culture, and many circumstantial characteristics more. Although can be difficult we need to consider that our form to live can be singular in relation with others. Thus, we are not the center of the world, but part of it. The entire world has divergent ways of thinking, acting and decision. Then, do not establish the correct way of thinking and behaving, because its righteous way might not exist.
Then, what is the solution? Learn to read other people, considering always the diferences and singularities. When you pay attention to the minimal details and you are open minded you tend to grow up fast in relationships.
On the other hand, we can consider some elements as deadly realities of human behavior. Even though each fellow can be unique and singular, the studies have sticked to some important points about negative qualities inside humankind. Weigh these seven points when you are trying to increase your skills in relationships.
1- ENVY: Despite a big deal of us deny it, we are envious people. It is our nature to constantly compare ourselves to others. If it is about skills, beauty, position or other aspects, surely we will always suffer with envious behavior.
2- CONFORMISM: People tend to establish good relationships with others who share the same kind of ideas, because those who are markedly different make them feel uncomfortable and insecure. Thus, you will have always people that exclude you because they can not live with your way of realize and do things.
3- RIGIDITY: People tend to believe in things that worked in the past, therefore they follow procedures that they believe to be correct. Even though you consider them irrational concepts, might be useless to fight against them.
4- SELF-OBSESSIVENESS: People are always considering themselves before you. They want to be succeeded, promoted and rise up fast. Thus, narcissism is something you can seldom reject.
5- LAZINESS: Rarely people want to establish an effort to construct success, instead of that, it is easier steal best ideas from others, or equally share the success of the fellow without big effort. Be wary of people who want to collaborate, and keep your ideas to yourself. Seems cruel, nonetheless watch over.
6- EMOTIONS: Beware before rely on other peers. People are changeable, mainly when we are considering feelings and emotions. People around you, constantly under the pull of their emotions, change their ideas by the day or by the hour, depending on their mood.
7- PASSIVE AGRESSION: This is something hard to identify and to figure out. It is possible that some people are passively harming you. Although can seem as an accident, they are controlling the dynamic and affecting you under a passive-agressive attack.

In conclusion of it, we can perceive as the capability to read the other and understand certain aspects of human behavior can help us to develop better relationships with our peers, fellows and relatives. As you are crafting the appropriate persona for you, it is necessary to understand that others are trying the same for themselves, and that searching for clues inside human behavior can help us establish better relationships.
Nice week, see you soon!

Talking about happiness

Happiness is something that we are always looking for. Let's talk about it.

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Talking about the strike

I would like to share with you a video where I am talking about our strike at UNIFIEO, and the problems concerning it.

UNIFIEO is an university situated in Osasco, city in the State of São Paulo (Brazil).

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A letter to my wife

Exactly on February 16, thirty four years ago, God took a star above in the universe, opened the sky, and put you inside the planet. Was your birth. Indeed, when He did it He knew that you should be mine. Not as a possession or product, but like a friend, consort, and partner. Furthermore, you are the Love of my life. Of course neither always the life is made by success, blissful and fulfillment. Nonetheless, we have been living together for 14 years, and I can not see us without one another. You know as we get along with, even in dark times.
I would like to be better for you, because you deserve it. In fact, sometimes I can not be like you deserve, but I am trying to be better everyday. Although sometimes you can not believe, because as a human being I can not be perfect, nonetheless I love you even though sometimes disappointing you.
Thus, I still love you so much, as well as I loved you in the beginning, and I will love you everyday unto the end. Indeed you are a gift for me, as a mother for my child and a wife. Doubtless you gave to me my most precious gift, my daughter. She is as you, beautiful, strong, bold, wit and almost perfect. Without both of you I could not be happy, mainly in tough situations. Thank you.
God made one woman to each man in the world, and when God saw me He knew that I would need exactly you. Thanks God, because you have always been taking care of me.
I love to be beside you. Not only during the happy time, but also during the sad moments. Even living difficult times, we always helped one another, and in this life I want to live beside you forever. Indeed, every smile, every look, every smell, every time beside you worth more than the most precious jewel of the world. I want carry on being the man who take care of you as I did, and be prepared to fight against the troubles and enemies that we will find through our way.
Thank you my darling... I love you. Happy birthday!

My seven favorite books of the year

If I have something that I am addicted is to read. As well as I am a binge-watching, I am also a binge-reading. I am that kind of guy that loves receive and buy books. So, I am an addicted, and rarely I can pass a month without buying any books. Consequently, during this year as every other year, I read many good books. For instance, this year I read the entire collection of Harry Potter and almost the whole series of A song of ice and fire (Game of Thrones), among others. However, I would not like to use this article to talk about this sort of book (fiction), but about books that taught me something important, and that had some kind of impact in my life. Therefore, following is my list of best books that I read in 2016. I would like to suggest you to read all of them, because this seven books are amazing.

1- OUTLIERS - The story of success (Malcolm Gladwell)

Think about a book which I kicked off reading without great spectation, nevertheless, during four days reading I enjoyed and learned a lot. Gladwell is questioning the success of the outliers, that kind of people whom are outstanding in something, for instance athletes, billionaires, geniuses, rock stars and more. He shows us that there are some circumstances that can contribute for the success as the date of birth, as well as an extra effort against some opportunities. Therefore, the success depends on less in IQ or hereditary characteristics than in extraordinary opportunities plus a harder effort to achieve the goals. Thus, the book is formed with a series of cases and examples, and can contribute much to change our form to think the success. Incredible.

2- MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING (Viktor E. Frankl)

This is an old book that I never had the opportunity to read before. And the book is marvelous. Viktor wrote the book after experienced some years in Nazi death camps. Although the grievous part of the book showing a distressful life, he learned how to survive and have motivation against awful situations, and developed a psychological theory called logotherapy, which is presented within the book. The essence is assisting the patient to find meaning in his life. Thus, if you have the chance to read it, worth each page.

3- THE FOUR AGREEMENTS (Don Miguel Ruiz)

Although some people can perceive the book as a religious book, it is based on in one ancient civilization called Toltec, and presents four wisdom principles of life. The principles are very simple and powerful, and can change the life of who follows it. The first is take care with the words you have used. The second is not take anything personally. The third is not make assumptions prematurely. Then, the forth is always do your best. Even though its principle seems simple, I learned much reading the book, and I really believe that people who follow it can achieve a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love.

4- BUY.OLOGY (Martin Lindstrom)

It could not lack a book about consumer behavior. As I am a specialist, I have read many books about this subject, however this book is different from others I read before. The book is about the contribution of the neuroscience studying how people buy and why. Although some surprises in the conclusions of the book, its essence has stablished proximities with the older theories of consumer behavior. Furthermore, correlations with religion, brands, rituals and consumer behavior are one of the more interesting part of the book. As a first step the book is very good.

5- A BRIEF HISTORY OF TIME (Stephen Hawking)

Although I am not a specialist in physics, and to be more exact I do not understand much about it, even so I enjoyed the book. I can not say that I understood the entire book, however I learned a lot about the universe, the laws of physics, the picture and expansion of the universe, the black holes, the elementary and advanced theories, the working of time, and of course, how a genius scientist as Hawking thinks the universe and the existence of God. Particularly, I disagree with him about God, on the other hand, I can not say that I have now new evidences and ideas to think about. Therefore, A brief history of time is a tough book, with hard questions to reflect, but that offers the opportunity to learn the universe under the sight of the science. At least interesting.

6- THE OPPOSABLE MIND (Roger Martin)

The book is about innovation, more specifically about thinking differently. Roger presents us his particular form to put the expression "think out of the box" in practice. In this new approach is necessary consider more saliences, blow up the causalities considered, work in parts visualizing the whole, and surely, searching for creative solutions instead of accepting trade-offs. Moreover, the author presents manners to enlarge our personal knowledge system, exploring our stance, tools, and experiences. So, its content makes the book a guide to reflect and to study accurately.

7- WHEN NIETZSCHE WEPT (Irvin D. Yalom)

This is the unique book in the list that is a fiction. More precisely, Irvin blends fact and fiction, atmosphere and suspense, to unfold an unforgettable story about the redemptive power of friendship. Furthermore, the characters in the book are the famous Nietzsche with suicidal tendencies, and Josef Breuer, one of the founding fathers of psychoanalysis with Freud, and the new method to heal. The mix of fantasy and reality make the book awesome. Its content generated a novel of obsession.

Therefore, this is my last list of the year with my seven favorite books. I hope you have enjoyed. I wish to you a fantastic 2017. Best regards! See you next year...

5 important facts for me in 2016

This is another tough list to do. Evidently during an entire year many facts succeed, and the duty to choose only five is difficult. So, I am not choosing based on importance in a general sense, but according to the significance that they have to me. Thus, let's go sorting out what was important.

1- MY DAUGHTER READING AND WRITING:

The fact can seem simple, but during this year my daughter developed the ability to read and write completely. Last year she could read some sentences and write few words, but with the improvement this year, with only six years old, she can read books and write completely accurate. Of course we have the pleasure to buy books and games for her develop more the skill. The interesting fact is that she loves earn books and educative games. Then, of course that I and my wife are loving it, and that this conquer was one of the most important facts that we lived in 2016. For you my daughter, we are so proud!!!

2- WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS AGAIN:

Last year I wrote about my team (Palmeiras) when we won the Brasil's Cup. In 2016 we have won the National Championship, and we are now more ahead as the bigger champions in Brasil. This year we won our ninth National Championship, and with our other three Brasil's Cup, we have now twelve national titles. The award was awesome to a team which was the better attack, defense, more disciplined, beating records in the second part of the championship, among other conquers. Furthermore, the championship was still more special this year, because we were doing without the title since 1994. Now, we are the best again, as well as the biggest champions in Brasil. I am proud to be at stadium in absolutely all the games at home in 2016. Do you want me justifying why is it fact very important for me? If you want, my answer is: Palmeiras is my life.

3- ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE:

The third more important happening this year was my definitive improvement in my english as my second language. As some people know I am an autodidact student that never studied english at school. The whole knowledge that I have is a flowering coming from my efforts, and I am proud about it. Thus, during these last two years I have improved considerably, and in 2016 the aftermath was fantastic. Since the beginning of the year I just can see like my english abilities have enlarged, and nowadays I think to be easy to do tasks as read books in english, talk fluently with natives, watch movies, series, news and games in english, write like I am doing now, among other things. It is interesting as nowadays the things in english around me seem normal things, as result of the language changing as my second language. So, my english is one among my five best facts of the year.

4- I HAVE BEEN DOING STRIKE:

Interesting put this fact into my five facts of the year. However, this is the reality. I am having problems in my university. I am a professor, and our university (UNIFIEO) has had some economical problems, and we professors and clerks have also been living troubles, because we are not receiving our payments accurately. Unfortunately, I am without my payments since August, and we did not have another alternative if not be in strike. So, we have been in strike now for more than a month, doing manifestations and protests, struggling to receive our rights. Why is it a fact much important? Because I am learning a lot with it. Moreover, when you are living moments of difficulty, it can be a good time to grow up more and change some things within your life. In fact, even though some psychological troubles, I can see some introspective advantages and learnings in it, as I need toil witty to achieve my goals. So, as I am a God man and as I have faith, then I believe in 2017, and I believe that the whole circumstances can be better after the new years' day.

5- LEARNING WITH HUMAN BEINGS AFTER THE TRAGEDY:

The fact was a tragedy, and surely was not important to happen. The crash of the Chapecoense's airplane was awful. The significative facts happened after the tragedy, because proved to me as human beings can be worth. In fact, the solidarity showed on the whole planet was marvelous. The world joined hands to act in prol of the Chapecó city, the families of the victims and the Chapecoense club. Although all the tragedy, the acts as the honors from Atletico Nacional fans, the same club giving up the awards of the championship, the world weeping for the victims, and for instance, organized fans from rival clubs whom commonly show some violence when reunited, singing together was awesome. Even though if I try, I can not put all the facts here, one conclusion is important; there are human beings in this world and they are greater than we can imagine. Many learnings from one infortune fact. When this sort of thing happens, I can think if perhaps is necessary bad events succeed to human beings, for them remember as they are good. Sad but true.

In conclusion, these five facts were important for me in 2016, and helped me to learn, to amuse and to improve my life. It is all for now. Until the next week with the last list of the year. Best regards.